I was in what remained of the woods behind my house. If I stood right in the middle of it, and used my powers of pretend, I could shut out the sound of the cars and trailer trucks swooshing by. If I squinted my eyes, I could lose the unnatural movement that those vehicles made at the edge of that diminishing wood.
It was dense white air, made that way by the fog of warm earth and cool morning. The smell was of neither, though, but of the plastics factory and the oil refineries across the field.
There was evidence of rabbits. The skinny understory trees were chewed all around their trunks. Bright core wood showed, compared to the remaining bark. The snow had covered the ground six inches deep all winter. In their need for food, the rabbits had girdled the tender saplings at that height, sitting on the frozen snow, eating. Now that the snow was gone, the new trees were dead.
I couldn’t blame the rabbits. They were hungry. The snow had fallen, thawed, and then had frozen hard with a crust. I could walk on top of it, with only every fifth or sixth step crunching through. There had been times I would tromp around and crush the crust in the little clearing, thinking that there were rabbits watching me, thanking me under their furry breath, for the chance to get at the dry grasses and leaves under the crust.
I looked up, through the bare branches of the maples and oaks. The leaves hadn’t dared to show yet. There were so few of these trees left, I thought. And now these damned rabbits had killed off the replacements.
There were a lot of rabbits it seemed. More than I remembered. There weren’t any pheasants though. Where had they all gone? The only birds that sat quietly in the trees were sparrows.
What was wrong with me? I used to exist so comfortably in this space. The woods was my home. Why did I feel so alien? The sparrows looked like they felt alien. The trees appeared to feel alien, too. They all leaned imperceptibly inward, away from the noise, but not able to escape the smell.
The branches that had fallen to the leaf covered floor, the ones that used to look at home there, now looked awkward, and messy. They seemed resigned to being useless, no longer assured of a life given to feeding the next generation of the woods.
I watched my breath make a slow foggy cloud.
As I turned around to retrace my steps out onto the road, a rabbit popped away from where I had stood, leaving the image of white tail in my mind.
Leslie
4 Changes: population, pollution and consumption
voodoolinks: hippie…part one…progress
Leslie here.
Just to let you all know…
I am *NOT* turning off the comments.
It is happening spontaneously.
You can email to me if you’d like.
leslie at lesliehawes dot com.
Comment by leslie — March 25, 2008 @ 5:42 pm
oh nicely done. nicely done.
Comment by laurie — March 25, 2008 @ 7:24 pm
Thank you, Miss Laurie.
I am hoping everyone digs into those links, too.
Comment by leslie — March 25, 2008 @ 9:54 pm
Poetic, and very nicely done. The anthropomorphism of the rabbits was handled very well. Can’t wait to see what you’ve got for earth day.
Comment by The Flying Trilobite — March 26, 2008 @ 2:21 am
Very well written. I could sense the displacement and feeling alien. Unfortunately, so many have already disconnected with the earth that they don’t see it changing and growing alien. Great post.
Comment by lgsquirrel — March 26, 2008 @ 3:28 am
By finding nature between a highway and a factory you see why humanity is between a rock and a hard place.
Comment by teepeegee — March 26, 2008 @ 4:37 am
This is a very well done piece.
Comment by troymullens — March 26, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
Hello Friend Trilobite,
I hope to get a tree or two in the ground for Earth Day
This was last years Earth Day post…
http://www.lesliehawes.com/wordpress/?p=64
Comment by leslie — March 26, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
Hi LGS,
Good ol’ R. Crumb drew it best…
http://www.zubeworld.com/crumbmuseum/history2.html
I feel lucky to have been around early enough not to have missed some nature.
Comment by leslie — March 26, 2008 @ 3:01 pm
Sir TPG,
That tiny little patch of woods in the picture is all that is left of the acres and endless acres of “my woods”. That photo was taken in 1984.
Comment by leslie — March 26, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
Howdy Troy Mullens,
Welcome to the crazy blog!
We have Texas and wildflowers in common, for starters
Just to the right hand side of that photo, down at the end of the road, is the New Jersey end of the Texas Eastern pipeline.
I used to sit on the orange colored vent pipe. Who knew I’d eventually live in Midland!
Comment by leslie — March 26, 2008 @ 3:08 pm